Situationship or Soul Ties?

Hey sexyies, welcome back to another night vibe session on Pillow Talk where we unzip the layers of love lust and everything in between the sheets and the soul. Tonight's episode, Siuation ships, and soul ties. Because sometimes it ain't love, but it just ain't sex either. 
So what is it? Let's dive into the Grayzo where hearts get caught, and bodies get confused. So this is one for the books, because I think everybody has been in these type of situ ships or a soul tie. 
Do I think it's different? Yes, I think these are two totally different things. Situational ships.uation ships. 
Hmm. I think we have those every day. I think we have those every month. 
I think everybody has a situationship. So ties. Not everybody has so ties, though. 
So I had, I don't really know where mine falls. I don't know if this old person that used to be in my life, I don't know if he falls on your situation or Sota. So hopefully by the end of this show, I will be able to put that person in the right category. 
Because, you know, I never really knew where to put that person, right? Okay. So, our first segment, we jumpping off, we have pillow, talk, Confessions. 
We This one is anonymous, right? Okay, so in tonight's pillow talk confession, this anonymous story was sent in by y'all and let me tell you guys. You guys are wilding. 
And it's so funny because this is so long ago and she felt she, yes, felt compelled to say, hey, I got to get this off my chest. I thank you for using pillow talk to get this off the old chest. So let's go ahead. 
The story is a little juicy whim. We're going to call this Thanksgiving thighs, right? Okay, she says she went home for Thanksgiving and somehow ended up hooking up with her cousin's best friend, whom she grew up with. 
They hooked up in the pantry before dinner. Okay, wow, in the pantry. So, number one, let's just start off. 
Y'all have a big ass pantry, or are you guys little people? And I don't mean small people, I mean just skinny, thin, you know, little people. Or do you have a big ass pantry? 
Because I want to know, how did that go down? I've never done that in the pantry. So I actually can say that. 
Okay, cool. Let's get back into it. She says they've been flirting text, flirt texting for months, but never cross the line. 
He whispered to her, let's get a taste before dessert. Oh, oh, so this was during dinner. During it? 
Oh, interesting. She says she's still sees mashed potatoes and thinks about him. They haven't talked since, but she swears she felt so tight off one night. 
Okay, so Thanksgiving thighs. Thank you so much for writing Am. Remember, guys, if you guys want to get your story on a pillow Talk confession, email me at let'stalk atpillowtalk at gmail.com. 
Or you can always DM hosted by Destinationhene on IG. Yep, that's me, your host, Destiny Shay. Okay. 
So Thanksgiving thighs. Um. I don't even know know where to start to unpack this. 
No judgment, right? No judgment. Because this is a judgment-free zone. 
Chemistry happens all the time. Tensions build, and sometimes a pantry becomes more than just storage. Okay, but. 
Now that the cranberry sauce have cooled off, now that life has returned to normal, here's what you need to ask yourself, sis. First. You know, I'm not going to go with my questions. 
Okay, I'm going to go with my questions. Did you guys meet before? Like, how did you guys get the numbers before? 
Have you always had each other's numbers? Have you always been on the phone, did the flirt texting, like, just start? Or has it always been going on? 
I know she said for months, but I have so many questions, but okay, okay, whatever. Okay. Okay. 
Number one, was it last or is there a real connection? Right? Flirty texting. didn't mean something. because the hookup could have just been the peak or it could have been the spark, right? 
You have to ask yourself, do you want more than just one time thrill? If that answer is yes, then I suggest you reach out to him if that answer is ah, you know it was pretty cool, then you wouldn't really be thinking about him over mashed potatoes. Now, would you? 
Exactly. Has he reached out since or is it a ghost town? You said that you have not talked to him since, but you feel that it was a so time. 
So question is, you haven't talked to him since meaning no flirty text or no text or silence, just complete radio silence. If it's a ghost town, I think the pantry was just his closure. I don't think it was an opener. 
I actually think he was probably trying to figure out if he can just get the draws. No. Okay, but seriously, you guys have been taxing for a couple of months. 
You've known him forever. You grew up with him and you guys never, ever, ever, ever has had a relationship. Yeah, I just think it was pretty much... a closure for him. 
I'm just going to keep it real. What it says. I really just think it was a closure, right? 
We have to think about those things. So... next, how close is too close? Too home for you guys? 
Cousin's best friend. That's tricky territory, right? So, do you think he told your cousin? 
Hey, guess what happened? Do you think he's going to have to tell your cousin? Are you going to tell your cousin? 
Are you telling anybody in the family? And if you do,. How is that family tent you going to be? 
Because you guys grew up together. You know, some families think when you grew up together as cousins or as siblings are just as a really close- knit, friends, you should not do anything else. You have to think about what is your family going to say about this? 
What is his family going to say about it? Even if Philings's developed between the both of you, are you guys ready for that family tension, that could possibly come with it? Are you okay with being a holiday secret or does this need to be brought into the light? 
That's the other things you need to ask yourself. Is this a holiday secret with him, your cousins, his cousins, best friends? Or is this just something that you just need to say, okay, it happened and keep it moving. 
Did you guys see each other every Thanksgiving, every holiday? Do you guys live in the same town? I'm assuming that you do not hang out with your cousin, because if you did hang out with your cousin, I believe this probably would have happened plenty of other times. 
So this is really interesting. I'm anonymous. Thanksgiving thighs. 
I definitely want you to email me and tell me a little bit more about your situation. This is pretty interesting. Okay, so number three, do you feel empowered or are you low-key confused by this? 
How many of us go through the same thing, even if it's not a family friend? Even if it's just a friend that we've known for a while, couple of years, maybe a couple of months. It doesn't really matter. 
And we talked to them and we've been conversating with them. We've had a friendship with them. And, you know, one drunken night or one confused night or one, hey, I've been wanting to do this empowered night, you get to thrill and you guys have sex. 
So what is that mean? What happens then? Feeling like you're replaying it over mashed potatoes means that there is emotional residue. 
I totally agree. If you sit there, we all know this. If you sit there and you think about it, you think about it, you think about it. 
Not only was it good, I believe it was emotional. I believe it hit that emotional button. So like this says, emotional residue, that's pretty good. 
I like that. I'm going to use that. So ask yourself. 
Are you craving the thrill again, the thrill of having a Thanksgiving thighs in the pantry, the thrill of nobody knowing you guys not getting caught. Or are you feelingused? Are you feeling like, mad? 
Were you were talking on the phone, refined phone friends, didn't really have to happen. Now I feel like that's all we wanted. Or she, you know, hey. it could be a she. 
Now you're left wondering what if, right? What if I didn't do that? What if I would have talked to him or her again before we did that? 
All that time, you have to take some time and center yourself. Don't get caught up romanticizing a moment that might not be worth a rerun. You know, sometimes sex is great standing up. 
Sometimes sex is great laying down. Sometimes sex is great. All different types of positions, right? 
So here you are, Romanticizing over that time in the pantry that was an amazing time. Interesting. Here you are romanticizing over a time that was an amazing moment in time. with the emotional residue, right? 
Because you already have the feelings for him or her for the simple fact of you guys were text flirting. So the feelings, the emotions, all that was already there, this is not a complete stranger to you. This is not somebody who never had emotions with regardless, friends, or otherwise. 
That rerun, I don't think is worth it. You just have to you have to you have to en now empower yourself. Take your power back. 
If you're feeling lowi confused, take your power back. Your next steps. You got to pick your path, right? 
So this has happened. You were the Thanksgiving thighs in the pantry. So if you want to explore it, hit him or her up. 
Keep it light. See something like, so was that just pantry passion or something more? Let their response guide your next move. 
Think of something fun. Think of something funny to say. Think of something light. 
Remember, it has to be light. It cannot be direct. If you're not that type of person, if you don't know what they are, if you don't like letdown, rejection. 
Keep it light. Now, if you're ready to move on, turn that mashed potato memory into a life lesson. Desire is fire, but boundaries are key, right? 
You have boundaries. Everybody in this world has a boundary. I understand that desire that burns inside is fire, because obviously here, he or she was very hot. 
Obviously, you've thought about this. Both of you guys have actually thought about this for a lot longer than just a few months of flirty text, right? I mean, let's just be real about this. 
You guys have definitely thought about this way more than just a flirty text. Way more than just this Thanksgiving dinner. I would love to hear the whole story. 
If you' ready to move on, chuck it up as a spicy chapter in your storybook. Not the whole story. It's just a chapter. 
It may not even be a chapter. Maybe that's not even the best thing that happened to you, that Thanksgiving or that quarter. It might just be a paragraph, a spicy paragraph. 
You know, I think we as humans, we turn moments into chapters, into storybooks, into places where they should not be. I know I've had a lot of, no, not a lot. I know I've had a spicy moment or two that should not have been a whole chapter in my book. 
But it is. I have closed a recent spicy chapter just because I know, I, you know, you know, you know, God dang it, y'all. You know, you know something, right? 
But you leave yourself to think, no, no, no, no, it's not what it is. They lead you to think, no, no, no, it's not what it is, right? But then you find out it is. 
It's just like this, right here. You find out it is exactly what you knew it to be. Don't be hard on yourself. 
Just close that chapter. politely. Respectfully. Close the chapter. 
You'll feel so much better when that chapter is closed. You won't have your what ifs. You won't be wondering about anything. 
You can definitely breathe easier. You know, when I was a kid, you know, I used to say, oh, that's like a weight lifted off my shoulder, right? Well, when I tell you I close this chapter, oh my goodness, I get so breathed, so much easier. 
I had told my girl about it. And. Yeah, she she we definitely had some laughs because yeah, it's it's freeing when you do close doors that probably was open too far along or was never meant to be open. 
It's definitely a nice breather, right? Right. Okay, so if you're unsure, sit on it. 
Watch his actions. W do you or her actions. Why are you the one that have to that has to come and say, hey, what's going on? 
Hey, what do we do? Hey, why are you always the one having to get up and say something? Watch his actions, her actions. 
If they want more, they'll show you. If not, then trust the freaking silence. That's one thing we do not do. 
We do not trust the silence. I don't understand, nor do we trust our gut. I don't understand you humans. 
Trust that gut. Trust that silence, because it is golden and it tells you so much of what you need to know. Silence is key. 
Like I said, closing that door, I got nothing but silence. That's how I knew right before I closed that door. Sorry, I should say right before I closed that door. 
I got silence. So that door is closed. Does the other person know that the door is closed? 
Probably not. I'm so sure of it. I didn't post it. 
I didn't let everybody know. I didn't. There was nobody that needed to know that but me, that that door is absolutely completely closed. 
Like shut, now, shut. Bottom line, you're so allowed to make bold choices. Don't let one pantry moment take up too much real estate in your heart or in your head because that's what's happening. 
You know, that's been, what's that? What's that? That's brand new. 
Real estate. I won't let you take up real estate in my head or you're living rent free in my head. You know, those kind of things are brand new and they're being, they're catchy, right? 
Do not let him take or her take up real estate in your heart or your head. Trust me, when you let that go, you're going to realize that you have so much other things to take up great space and great time. Unless that person is coming with consistency, clarity, and cranberry saucenacks time, then keep it moving, keep it pushing. 
Eat your mashed potatoes and keep it pushing. Thank you so much. Thanksgiving. 
Thighs, I appreciate you right, Nan. I appreciate you emailing. I really appreciate all the pillow talk confessions that comes through. 
But guess what? You guys thought we was finished. We' not finished. 
I got one more for y'all. And yes, yes, it's another anonymous one, okay? I feel you with these anonymous stories because, you know, the internet is so harsh. 
Have y'all ever saw something you liked, right, on the internet and then decided to look at the comments? You know, I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever looked at comments, right? So, my son is the one who told me, "Oh, look at this comment, look at this comment." 
So I finally looked at this comment. And I thought, "Oh, my God, you guys are so mean. You humans are absolutely mean as shit. 
These comments be having me dying. The post itself was funny, but these comments, you know, these comments, y'all know what I'm talking about. You guys be reading your Instagram and your Facebook posts and comments. 
And, yeah, you guys are outrage. You image are outrageous. So let's move on to our second and last anonymous story. 
This is called No Titles, No Rules, right? So it is a he. He says, he was in a 10 month situation with the girl who said she didn't believe in labels. 
Okay. Okay. Okay. 
Okay. So. Okay, yep, yep, yep. 
Let's just go ahead and go for it. Everything felt like a relationship. Netflix nights, family functions. 
Woooo, family functions? Girl, you know you, sis. Sis. 
You know you did him wrong, right? Okay. Even her dog started calling him daddy. 
You got the dog. You got him taken out the trash. You got him. 
Netflixing and chilling. You got him meeting family and you got the dog calling him Daddy. Girl, you know you was wrong. 
You know you guys were in a whole relationship. And Iur anybody says, that's an entire relationship. But you new aged females, you noticed I didn't call y'all women. 
You knew aged females is something else, because that's a whole relationship. Alrighty. Come on, little buddy. 
Let's see what else you have to say. But one day he sees her posting another dude at brunch. When he confronted her, she said, you knew what it was. 
He's been in therapy every since he says. Woo-e. Ooh, you see, see? 
Like I said, you females are out here doing the most. Some of y'all are out here signing contracts with invisible ink. You guys.. 
So we're going to call this no labels, no loyalty. Is that what she's saying? We don't have a label. 
I don't believe in labels. So therefore, I don't have to be loyal to you. Because that's exactly what she sounds like. 
I think Mr. Ten Month, you got bamboozled. So let's dive into it, shall we? I hope you're listening to you, because this is going to be an early good one. 
I applaud you so much right now for going through therapy. Let's just say that I applaud you. I applaud you, I applaud you for being in therapy. 
If you are really, truly in therapy, I applaud you, because you actually were being you actually were one of the ones that upset I am hurt by this. So instead of going out and hurting others, let me get fixed. Ooh. 
Held people date differently. Y'all know that's a topic coming up, so you guys better stay tuned to pillow talk because we have that complete topic coming up. Healed people date differently. 
So first off, like I said, credit, you were showing up emotionally, consistently, probably even paying for the brunches. You were even invited to. I guarantee you you probably paid for that brunch, right? 
And the dog, the dog calling you daddy, that's that's a total spiritual betrayal. She had you blendended with the family. You met the family. 
Again, Netflix and the dog. Crazy. I believe the no labels trap isn't an excuse, because you don't have to have labels to know that you guys were in a relationship. 
Situation, whatever it is, I still think respect and honesty goes hands in hand with any kind of ship that you're in. Friendship, situationship, relationship, that goes hand in hand. I think people get titles and honesty mixed up. 
You can have a title and still be dishonest. But what she did was sneaky. She said, forget a title because that way I don't have to say that I'm loyal to you. 
Saying I don't do titles is not the same thing as I don't owe you honesty. Get that through y'all's head. That is not the same thing. 
You cannot do a title all day long. You can be with the same man for 15, 25 years and never get married. Never get the title as wife, or husband. 
But you guys are still living the life, living in this house, painting. Excuse me. Paying bills together, raising kids together because I'm pretty sure not in this case, but I'm pretty sure in the 15, 25 years, you guys have kids together or you're taking care of some of his kids or he's taking care of your kids. 
So again, don't not doing titles is not the same thing as honesty. She blered the lines, benefited from your love, and everything else that you was doing. But when the accountability hit, she dipped behind a technicality. 
Yeah, that's what she did. That is emotional manipulation with a little side of denial, right? You guys were in a relationship situation. 
She said, because we didn't have titles, I'm not going to be with you. Whew. Sis, that's you, you planned, you are playing life like the dudes out here, huh? 
Because that's what you guys be doing. I don't want to be entitled. I got you, Shorty, right? 
That's what you guys are doing. So it's in home for you, Mr. Ten Monthuation. And I'm not being mean or anything, but I'm just seeing. 
It's heading home for you guys because you guys do that to females all the time, right? If it walks like a relationship. Okay, so y'all were going to family functions watching Netflix like y'all paid rent together, sharing emotional space, and maybe even toothbrushes. 
That's gross, by the way. But you were in a relationship without a label. She played the fine print when it suited her. 
Yes, she did. She did. She said,, homie, I'm good with what we had going on for 10 months, but now I want to go see what Mark has going on for 10 months. 
Mark run because she going to do it to YouTube. Whoever you are on the brunch, she's going to do it to you too. So she she didn't do partnerships at all. 
She didn't do anything with you guys. All she did was she did a performance 10 months, sir. She just did a performance. 
That's all she did. Her response told the truth. She never verbalized. 
She said, you knew what it was. One question. How did you know what it was? 
Did you guys talk about this 10 months, sir? That's what I want to know. I want you to write back in to me. 
Tell me, did y'all talk about within 10 months of you guys being together, what was the talks? Did you pay bills? Were you guys living together? 
I don't think you guys were living together because I it says situship. So I'm so sure you guys wasn't living together. But I'm pretty sure you probably paid some bills within that 10 months. 
You might even paid some in your bills. But... You knew what it was translation is what? 
What do y'all think that translation means? That means, I like what we had, but I never planned on calling you mine. I never planned on settling down. 
I never planned on saying, we're in a relationship. I don't want to be in a relationship with you, but I loved what we had. Until something better came along, that's exactly what she was doing, right? 
Playing you until something better came along. That comment was like cold. It was dismissive. 
And pretty much, I think you know what it was. I think it's like avoidance of guilt. We don't, we don't, we're not together. 
What are you talking about? We're not together. Why would you be mad? 
Not only did you miss the red flag, but you trusted someone who wasn't even in a relationship with you. You missed the red flag and you trusted someone who wasn't in a relationship with you, and all they did was benefit from your belief in them. Pack that under your pillow, 'cause that's a lot to unpack. 
I actually know a person like that. I know a person like this that was in a five-year situation. When he told me this, he had bought her stuff. 
He'd helped her move. He helped send her daughter to college. Mind you, without even meeting the daughter, excuse me, without even meeting the daughter. 
He helps send the daughter to college. He helped her moving to her new house, a house that is the only time he saw the inside of was when he moved her into that house with the movers, by the way, she had movers. You just came alone to help because, you know, you being a good boyfriend, he was like, yeah, yeah, I'm taking off. 
I'm coming to help you that day and everything. What the craziest thing about this story is he found out the address by accident, right? Isn't that crazy? 
So she was over his house. Mind you, he's never been to her house. Never been to her apartment, never been to anything of hers. 
She would always come to his house. And he had a nice, beautiful house. I don't know why she didn't want to be with him, but nice, beautiful house, right? 
Okay. She always came to his house, always did everything at his house. Never really went out for dinner. 
She bought, what are those people called? Shafts. She even had chefs come over and cook at his house. 
Okay? That was red flag, first of all. We never went anywhere together. 
We never went outside together. I met you in the grocery store. We've been grocery shopping together, but probably that same grocery store over and over again. 
Well, he started telling me his truth and started telling me the story I was flabbergasted. I kind of like catfish. I don't understand catfish either. 
I'm not for sure how I'm going to fall in love with somebody that I don't see pictures of or that I don't hear over the phone. I don't know. It's just just interesting. 
I don't I don't know. I don't know. But I have a story like that for you guys later on, because that's kind of how I met my boyfriend. 
Yeah, I know it was that's crazy. Anyway, that story is that story is crazy. But anyway, getting back to my friends, when he told me all this, I, I was I was in disbelief that he was this naive to think that he was in a relationship with this girl for five years. 
I told him, "You're not in a relationship. And this is, I met him at year three, three and a half, right? I mean, I met him, I'm sorry. 
I got back in his life at year three and a half when he was still with this girl. I explained to him, excuse me, I explained to him that he was not in a relationship with this girl, that she was just using him. He said he did not pay bills up until that fourth year helping send the daughter to college, did not get an invitation at all when she graduated high school, which is weird. 
But anyway, I mean, the story was crazy. And they were not in a relationship. So, sir, I kind of understand exactly how you feel and I understand how she feels. 
You let her play you. That's still bad, but you kind of let her play you, right? But let's move on. 
Let's move on. Like I said earlier, I, Paula applaud you for going to therapy. A lot of people need therapy and they refuse to go. 
Generational curse. But again, that's another episode. Put it under your pillow and we'll unpack it later. 
Therapy helps you detect yourself worth from her dishonesty. It's giving you tools you create clearer boundaries next time when you're faced with the same situation. You can recognize it before. 
Because if you listen to last week's podcast, it was falling for the same type. We talked about that in last week's podcast. If you set clear a boundaries, you can notice stuff next time. 
Thery also will help you remind yourself, vulnerability isn't weakness. It just needs to be reciprocated. That's all. 
Don't go out here now being a butthole to everybody. You're in therapy for that reason. That was a power move on your part. 
Sir, you might need to call back in. You might need to email me. You might need to get your number out there because I might need some I might know some women that's going to need you because you're going to be healed. 
You, I would love for you to be on one episode with me. Talking about your healing path. I would love for you to be a year out of healing, maybe dating, and I would love for you to come on this podcast and I would love for you to talk to me about how that looked because not everybody, when everybody does that. 
So next time, protect your energy. How so? Ask questions early. 
Start asking them questions. That's how I would protect my energy. First question I would ask. 
Are we exclusive or just cool? That's the first question I ask. But see, I ask a lot of questions. 
When my boyfriend's going to be on one of the podcasts, he will tell you how the questions went in his head because I know I asked a lot of questions. I asked questions about health. I asked questions about family. 
I asked questions about your mind. I ask questions about your eyesight, ask questions about everything. Because I don't, I've already left things up to chance. 
I'm not leaving anything up to Chance. I'm 48 years old and I refuse to leave anything up to chance. I'm going to ask questions that I need to know. 
The answer's too. The other thing, the other way I protect my energy, again, I talked about it earlier. Y'all listen to your gut. 
Your gut, your gut, your gut tells you so much. Your gut tells you everything. If it feels like a relationship, but they refuse to call it one, don't ignore that mismatch. 
You're trying to call it a relationship and you're trying to call it hanging out. Kick them to the curb. Go find you somebody that wants a relationship. 
That's the problem. You guys are picking people that do not want a relationship. You guys are picking people that just wants sex. 
You guys guys gotta pick better. Pick better. Label does not equal love, but clarity equals peace. 
Say that again, right? Labels do not equal love. Clarity. 
Clarity equals peace. Be clear with me. I don't I don't want to do. 
Don't take my decision making away from me. Tell me what it is. So that way I can be sure if I want to ride this ship with you. 
Tell me straight up from the beginning. And that's where people go wrong and that's when I actually lose friendships as well because if you tell me what it is in the very beginning, here we are friends, right? And then you start catching different feelings or whatever the case may be, you have to tell me. 
That way I can tell you how we're going to deal with it. But when you make up my mind for me by lying to me, you're making my mind up for me. By lying to me, you're telling me, I don't trust your judgment. 
I think you're stupid, slow, and dumb. And if I told you the truth, I don't think that you'd have the right judgment. That's what lying to me does, right? 
Because narcissists lie to you so they can control your outcome, so they can control your judgment. So again, that's another thing. Another topic. 
Narcissist. Final worried about this, baby boy, this wasn't your failure. I think this was a misalignment between your loyalty and her lack of emotional integrity. 
You didn't lose her. She lost a real one. Y'all know that, right? 
That's what's wrong with you females. You're out here shitting on these great men. And then you go and pick up a dude that's not great at all. 
And then you want to run back to these great men that you left. Great man, do not let her back in. She lost you. 
So next time anyone who wants you needs to be brave enough to name it, right? Put that under your pillow. Okay, okay, okay. 
Whoo. Y'all, that was a doozy. The pillow talk confessions had me out here being therapist destiny Shanay.Cause why both of those were some heavy hitters? 
Thanksgiving thighs and situational ship. I thank you so much. I appreciate y'all for writing in. 
Ah Good luck to both of you. Good luck to everybody that is in this situations. And yeah, good luck. 
Okay, okay, okay. We're back for the red flag green flags my favorite segment because what? Like I told y'all before, this is about y'all. 
It's not about me. But we are going to run back to those titles again. We're going to run back to those titles because I got some more stuff to say about I don't do titles that, you know, y'all spark. 
Okay, let's get into this red flag green flag. This is a part of the show where we call out behavior and decide if it's a goal for the wrong run, blah, blah, blah. I said that, right? 
Is it a go or is it a run for your life situation? Ah, say that. I got sun tight saying that. 
How do I get tongue ti saying that? Okay, whatever. So... 
Red flag or green flag. They say I don't believe in tinos, but they act jealous when you post someone else. Interesting. 
This was opposite of our pillow talk confession, right? I don't believe ent titles, but now I'm jealous because you're posting someone else red flag. You cannot be commitment phobic and possessive, you little narcissist. 
Pick a struggle, pick a struggle. Are you going to be commitment phobic or are you going to be possessive? You can only be possessive when you have a title, right? 
Only when you own something, can you be possessive of it So pick a struggle. Next. Y'all tell me if this is a red flag or if this is a green flag? 
Because I know some of you people out there probably think it's a green flag. They send you good morning texts every day. Ooh. 
Don't you love getting that? Me and my man says, grand enrichment rising, right? Not good morning text. 
And remember the smallest things about you. Ooh, okay, okay. Those are some green flags. 
Okay. That's what I'm thinking. But, but I'm not finished. 
But they still say you're just friends with benefits. So what is that? Is that a green flag, red flag? 
What kind of flag is that? Or is that a flag, not a flag at all? What is that? 
They send you morning texts. They tell you everything. They're talking to you all day. 
They remember the smallest things for you about you, but you're just their friends with benefits. emotional intimacy with no clarity, right? That is what I would call a S Thai Avenue. I give you all the benefits of relationship. 
I'm telling you, good morning. I'm making sure you eat. I'm small things that you like. 
I remembered. So I'm doing them. We're conversating all day. 
But we're just friends. Yeah. Like I said, welcome to Sult Thai Avenue. 
That right there, to me, is a major red flag. I think this is a Capicorn, too. I'm just plain, but I'm not, but I'm just plain. 
Okay, so another red flag. They introduce you to their mama but calling you my friend in front of her. Hey, mom, this is my friend. 
You took me to your mom's house just to call me your friend? So here's the thing. I see, okay, I have to I have to pick apart this one because I don't know if this is a red flag. 
I have a couple homeboys that I met their mamas and I am just their friends. So. But see, I don't. 
I don't know if I can use me because I'm more logical just because, okay, so let's just say this. Let me give you guys a situation. Let's say you guys are friends with benefits, okay? 
You're in the grocery store because you guys live near each other. He's in the grocery store with his mother. So my question would be, A or B, would you want him to introduce you when you guys speak or would you want him not to introduce you? 
That's where females, I think, get it twisted and freaked up in the head because if you say, hey, I'm having a cookout, my mom's having a cookout, I come, that's because I know that we're really good friends. I know that we have fun together. Yes, we may be friends with benefits, but we actually have fun together. 
So I can't say that that's a red flag. Now, if we're. See, I don't know. 
I don't I don't know, I don't know where I would go with this one because a lot of you guys are seeing it's a red flag if you introduced me to his mama, but call me my friend. But does she know that your guys are having sex? So how is it a red flag? 
Are you guys supposed to be in a relationship? So, see, that's where I think that one is a little tricky. I think it's up to the people. 
I think if you're having issues trying to clarify your relationship, you probably should not be introducing anybody to your mama. If I'm in the store, I've been in the store and I've seen a friend or two and I'm not introduced them to my mom. And then there is opposite. 
I've been in the store and I've seen a friend or two and I have introduced them to my mom. So again, like I said, I don't know if that one should have made the list of red flag green flag, but you guys put it on there. So we'll be talking about it. 
Now, green flag, they communicate openly, respect boundaries, and say, let's see where this goes, but follow through with consist. Now, that's grown, man or energy. Don't fumble that one. 
He actually, he, she actually told you. These are boundaries, these is this. They told you. 
They're openly communicating. And then they're telling you, let's see where it goes. That's pretty good. 
That one is a green flag. And again, like I said, don't fumble that one because that one's a real one. Alrighty, all righty. 
So we're just going to row right into the next. I don't do titles. This one's going to be fun. 
It's real short. But like I said, it's just some thought, right? So let's talk about this. 
That is the most famous phrase I think in a situation ship. I don't do titles. Is it freedom or a loophole for emotional unavailability Interesting, right? 
Is it a loophole? I think it's a loophole. Or is it freedom? 
I think it's a loophole. I think I don't do titles comes in when, like, for instance, again, I had a situation and I asked that question. And the answer wasn't I don't do titles. 
The answer was more along. You know what? Let me, let me, let me the answer was like a mixture. 
It was a let's see, I don't do titles, but I'm having fun, rolled with another answer. And it was all in a mixture. So it was like words from each one of those lines. 
Again, like I said, that's why the door was closed because I understood what it was. So, yeah, that's, like I said, narcissist, right? If you have ever said this or been on the receiving end, drop a comment, DM me, tell us your story. 
Some say no titles keep keeps things honest, bullshit, call bullshit. Others say it's how people avoid accountability while collecting relationship benefits. That is true. 
I avoid accountability so I don't have to be. I don't have to be all I can be for you. I don't have to be faithful. 
I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do in the relationship. Anything that I want to do with in this situation that benefits me, I'll do it. That's the way I see that. 
Truth is, you cannot demand loyalty in a lawless land. Say that again. You cannot demand loyalty in a lawless land and not having a title is lawless. 
That's a lawless land. You don't belong to anybody. You're just out here free Roman. 
That's basically what that is, just free Roman. So let's reflect on something. Have you ever used no titles as a way to keep someone close without letting them in? 
Because I know I've been on the other end of that. Are you building something real? Are you just stalling with benefits? 
You guys got to remember, you're not the only one in this. It is a two-person ship, right? You cannot man a ship all by yourself. 
So remember that. Y'all, man, that was something. That was something, something, something. 
So tonight, we laid it all bare situationships may start in the sheets, but them soul ties, they sneak up on your heart. Whether you're loving loud or lost in lust, just remember, clarity is freaking sexy. Silence, that's a signal. 
Listen to it, ladies, gentlemen. Make sure y'all tune in next week, 8 p.m. Central, where we're talking sex expectations. 
Yep, absolutely. Next week is my favorite, my favorite, my favorite.expectations. What no one is talking about. 
Make sure you guys go and subscribe, rate us five stars and share this with someone who needs to know that what they're going through, they are not alone. Follow the show on YouTube and Apple Podcasts. Drop me an email at Let'sTalk at PillowTalk at gmail.com. 
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We feel it. Until next time, keep it soft. Keep it sexy and always put that under your pillow.